This is a story submitted by Taika Alyosha. I personally don’t know this person and he hasn’t responded to any follow up emails so I couldn’t ascertain if this story was fiction or non-fiction. Either way, it makes for an interesting read. Here is part 3 of 6 that were submitted.

Photo credit: Steven Vigar

The Extasy is Weak* Fear and Loathing at Spring Scream

By Taika Alyosha

*A Note: Verbatim quotes from the recordings taken that night are written in italics. A full transcript of the recording can be read here (insert link).

Part III: Finding the Hidden Stage and Losing the Swedes
Once we got inside we got right down to business. We quickly found a secluded corner where we could sample our wares and begin recording.

Taika: Alright Spring Scream. Testing Testing.

Shamus: Argheoww, gonzo style.

T: So, we made it into Spring Scream. We have one cooler with two 26’s of gin and vodka, two 2-liters of Coke, cups, four pills of e, two bags of k, effies, hash, salvia and ecstasy. So, I think we’re going to try some ecstasy now and see what that does.

We did a half pill of E and a bump of K each. The excitement was mounting. On returning to the pathway, we ran into Shamus’s buddy Georgie, a promoter from Taipei who’s always out at parties, talking on his cell phone to people at other parties, trying to figure out which where the best party is, and how to get us in for free; and excellent party companion. Georgie was hanging out with a couple of young fella’s who looked like they just graduated from high-school. As it turned out they were both students of Georgie’s. One was a Swede, and the other an American. I put the cooler on the ground and started pouring drinks all round, and also one for a nearby girl who was complaining about having lost hers. The Swedes (well, I know one of them is American, but we just started calling them the Swedes), were very impressed.

Spring Scream is the largest live music festival in Taiwan, and subsequently Georgie had a lot of cell phone talking and connection making to do, so the Swede’s asked if they could tag along with Shamus and I. Of course they could, we told them. They were amiable enough fellows. They even offered to carry our bag, and then lit my cigarette for me.

Shamus and I left our bag with the Swedes to attend to two important matters: Shamus had to go and take pictures of slutty looking Taiwanese girls for a local entertainment website, and I really needed a burrito. We were both successful and reconvened a short while later to discuss the situation.

T: Had me a good fuckin’ burrito. Now I’m starting to get really high. So, I took a piss, we’re gonna mix a new drink, and we’re gonna go check out Full House on the grass stage where all the illegal foreigners are playing. Shamus’s showing me some pictures of these prostitute Taiwanese chicks, totally look like hookers.

S: As your attorney I highly recommend you finish the rest of that ecstasy and do another bump and grab another drink and we shall go.

T: I think he’s got the right idea. We have to do this right now. By the way I noticed these bathrooms are pristine. If we have one flashlight and one CD case I can go in there and bust up all the K and prepare it for the rest of the trip.

S: As your attorney I highly recommend you do that now.

T: We need to plan in advance ‘cause we’re going to be way too mangled later.

At this point we’d barely ventured past the main gate of the festival, where the largest stage and all of the food and drink stands were located. But Spring Scream is a huge event with seven or eight stages, and all of our friends’ bands, being composed mostly of foreigners, were playing on the far side of the venue at a semi-hidden stage where, hopefully, Taiwanese immigration police wouldn’t find them. You see, foreigners who want to perform in Taiwan, even for free, need entertainment visas, but this year there was a mass rejection of foreign performer visa applications for Spring Scream. Bands blamed Spring Scream’s management for being too disorganized and sending applications too late, or not at all. Spring Scream’s management blamed the government for being assholes. Regardless, the majority of the foreign bands were illegal. The bands, along with Spring Scream’s management, decided to go ahead with the shows and just put them out of sight and post lookouts for police, which resulted in one reggae band fleeing the stage on Saturday afternoon.

We followed the walkway over the hill in search of the hidden “Grass Stage” where we could see our friends perform. As we crested the hill I began to feel the familiar euphoric relaxedness that I’ve come to associate with the cocktail of E and K that we had ingested, and pulled out the recorder to describe the setting, which was looking increasingly idyllic to my drug softened mind.

T: We are walking en route to the grass stage. We’re walking away from the concert up the hill. The lights just suddenly disappeared over this big soft grassy hill and gave way to a giant bowl of stars and a lighthouse sending out three beacons. It’s beautiful. People walking up and down the hill underneath this big starry sky. You can see the Kenting shoreline stretched out and lit up for miles and miles and miles. It’s gorgeous.

After arriving at the far side of the concert I left my Shamus and the Swedes so that I could go and locate the Grass Stage more quickly.

T: Looking down the hill there are four stages. Two on the left, one on the bottom, and one on the right of this huge grassy hill. It’s a beautiful scene. Everyone’s just wandering around anywhere they want to go. I located the Grass Stage, which is on the right hand side of the hill. I’m gonna go back and let everybody know so we can go and check out some Full House and, god damn though, I really need to take a dump. I might have to go back…

At this point I hauled ass all the way back over the hill and across the festival grounds to the washroom, where I relieved myself satisfactorily.

T: I had to cruise back over the giant grassy hill with the lighthouse on top to take a very giant shit, which felt great. And then I also had the opportunity to bust up all of the K on the back of the toilet. So it’s now busted and ready to go. The night is looking up. And now I’m headed back up over the hill under this beautiful bowl of stars, there’s no clouds at all, and I’m going back to meet everybody so that we can enjoy a show. The shoes are off. They’re not going back on.

I removed my flip-flops and attached them to the straps on my backpack. This is the last time I remember seeing them. Shortly thereafter I located Shamus and the Swedes.

T: I can see Shamus coming down the hill approaching me and, he appears to be ready to do some more drugs. I think that Shamus looks like he needs a bump. Do you need a bump? He’s humping my shoulder.

S: How you doin’ bro?

T: I’m doing well.

S: Are you documenting this?

T: I’m documenting all of this.

S: I hope you document this and I hope my voice isn’t heard, because what is unheard is my mind and soul echoing through the ages.

T: Look up at the stars. This is gorgeous isn’t it? I haven’t seen stars like this in Taiwan in ages.

S: Where are we?

T: We’re in the fucking garden man. Fucking giant garden.

S: Beautiful garden.

T: Isn’t this place beautiful?

S: What is beautiful is documenting this.

T: I know, its wonderful documenting this. I’ve never used this recorder before, but I’m going to get a microphone for my ipod so I can just do this all the time.

S: Yi, er, san

T: It’s brilliant man.

S: Yes. And yes, I want a bump.

T: Ok, well yes, lets do another bump.

We left the bar in the care of the Swedes as we made off in to the bushes for a quick bump. Shortly thereafter we arrived at the Grass Stage, where Full House was slated to play. For those unfamiliar with Full House (we’ve seen them play like a thousand times) they’re a sickly talented Taiwanese Rockabilly band. They all sport Elvis and Buddy Holly hairdos. The bass player is a big handsome Japanese guy with a hipster beard and a cigarette permanently attached to his lower lip, always smoking as he pounds away at that giant bass, spinning it, flipping it around, laying it down on the ground and standing on it as he plays. He’s the showman of the bunch. But when we arrived Full House was still waiting to go on, while the Aboriginal band that was on stage went over their allotted time.

Unfortunately for us (and everyone else in the crowd) the Aboriginal band sucked. They were decked out in full colorful traditional Taiwanese aboriginal garb. Their behemoth singer had a good voice and the guitar player was technically sound and they played a brand of Chili Peppers rip-off funk, which was ok. But their stage show was awful. It was depressing, really. They ended with a twenty minute song, trying pathetically to convince the swiftly shrinking crowd to wave their hands in the air and chant. It was painful. So painful, in fact, that I decided we needed to do more drugs just to cope.

T: Shamus, we have to do more drugs.

S: As your attorney, I highly recommend you re-evaluate what you have. Take inventory. Take a look. Take a hard look. You have 72 hours. Divide that by three. Add another day. Do what you need to do. Now.

T: Now. Now I guess that means the bushes there. The bushes there. E now. E now, and bump. E and bump. (To the Swedes) Do you guys mind waiting for us here? We’ll be back in one moment. This won’t take long. It’ll be very easy.

And off we ran into the bushes, where we continued recording immediately.

T: Yeah ha ha. Alright. Me and Shamus have managed to separate ourselves from Oregon Alec and Swedish Marcus.

S: Ork and Bork.

T: Ork and Bork…We’ve managed to separate ourselves from Ork and Bork, who are great guys, though they don’t understand some of the finer, uh…

S: Values, values. I’m gonna say values.

T: It’s the finer points, like the uh…uh the…

S: (Shouting) Quit being such a fucking geek!

T: They don’t understand some of the finer points of doing copious amounts of drugs. They don’t understand how to, uh, do it with style and eloquence. They’re just lacking a little bit of style, but they’re young, you know? It’s gonna come. But for now we just needed to take a little break so that we can get really fucked up and then go back to them mangled and really freak those guys out. We are going to get so fucked, these guys are going to think we’re the looniest fuckers ever. And they’re going to run around and buy us booze all night and light our cigarettes too. It’s awesome. They’re great.

S: Ok, this is a log by Shamus. Um, I do need to…hello, hello, hello. I have to document the fact that um, as far as drugs for direct consumption and then reaction, I’m gonna have to go with the K, because the E seems to lag.

T: (Shouting) It licks balls!

S: It licks balls. It’s quite, uh, is that another E?

T: Suck it back.

S: Mmmmmmm.

T: Shitty E.

S: Just to document, we are now on one and a half pills of E.

T: And it’s fucking shitty.

S: Are we gonna go now man?

Around this time we stopped recording to smoke some hash. After losing an unidentified amount of hash in the grass, we realized that we were physically incapable of smoking a pipe in the dark.

T: We are now so fucked, we cannot actually smoke hash outdoors. We gotta go into the washroom. Lets go in.

S: Just wanna put my two cents in here. Umm, yeah we did, we did actually attempt to smoke some hash on a nice grassy knoll, yet it seems to be defying us. It s..uh..gi…uh..uh, it’s fighting us so we’re going to go somewhere sterile. Somewhere easier to smoke.

S: Taika and I talked about it. When he makes it big, it’s gonna be fucking huge man. I just hope that it (my making it big by writing this, and subsequent, gonzo recordings and articles) doesn’t sink my marriage. If I’m married…

T: This is gonna be a lot of problems for all of us when it comes out.

S: I hope my alias is, um…well, it can start with an S. It should probably be shame.

T: (Laughs) Shame.

S: Shame. His name was Shame.

T: Shamus. Shamus.

S: That’s Irish. That’s right.

T: My buddy Shamus. But really man, I’ve already decided what the outcome of my first book is going to be. I know a lot of things that we’ve done in this book that a lot of people won’t agree with and my mother probably didn’t need to hear, and my family probably didn’t need to hear, but we moved abroad so that we could lead the life that we wanted to lead. And we did.

S: But that’s what you do man. You build the world in which you want to live in. We’re not in the mouse in the trap.

T: And we made exactly the life that we were looking for.

S: Absolutely. Absolutely.

T: And that’s it. So, well, I’m gonna hafta write it out, I’m going to have to lay it all out for everybody, for better or worse, and say this is the life we wanted man. This is what we came here for, and this is what we did. And I don’t regret it, not even a little bit.

I should note this conversation took place in one of the washrooms about 45 minutes after we told the Swedes that we were just stepping into the bushes for a moment. It was then that we lost the Swedes, and the porta-bar. So, we purchased some alcohol from one of the many bars located throughout the festival grounds, and went back to the stage where Full House was to play.