Foreign guys dating Asian women
By xiao long
There are definitely some weird issues about being a white guy in Taiwan or anywhere in Asia for that matter. Having lived in Asia for 3 years, I can’t count the number of times I was shocked to see ordinary white guys with exceptionally beautiful Asian girlfriends. These girls, in general, treat their boyfriends really well. The treatment is very different from how most western women treat their men. It is far better. Recently, I am seeing many people posting complaints about this phenomenon. As a guy who does well both in America and in Asia, I feel a little annoyed by these complaints. To the angry posters I ask, who else we are going to date in Taiwan. The foreign women? Number one, that is like going to Italy and eating McDonalds. Seriously, most of the foreign women in Taiwan either came with a boyfriend or are really not worth looking at. Number two, most are so bitter that the foreign guys are dating Asian women that they can’t talk about anything else.
Please forgive me for speaking in generalities. I know there are a great many wonderful foreign women in Taiwan who are both beautiful and don’t complain all the time. It just seems that so many love to go on and on about this particular situation in Taiwan.
I had a female coworker, from Canada, who is an excellent example of what I am talking about. She would bitch about the foreign guys and their beautiful Taiwanese girlfriends continuously. She would whine about how the Taiwanese women would treat us. She would complain that none of the foreign guys wanted to date her. Keep in mind, this was a really large unattractive girl, with a bad personality.
At some point she started dating a Taiwanese man. This guy treated her like a princess. Not only was he a surgeon, he was a young surgeon. He was also very successful. He took her traveling around Asia. He bought her nice things. This young surgeon cooked and may even cleaned for her. So now the spokesperson for the Angry Unattractive Foreign Women Association of Taiwan (AUFWAOT), who loved to remind every foreign guy that he could not have the same girlfriend in his home country, is with a guy who she could not dream of back in Canada. Do you think any of the foreign guys cared that she was with a guy she could never have in her own country? Did anyone post on the internet, how dare she date a Taiwanese guy much less one so far out of her league?
I just want to remind all of you who complain about intercultural dating in Taiwan, it does go both ways.
Just a note, I don’t excuse the many jerks who abuse their position as a foreigner in Asia. I am referring to the ones who only come to Asia for sex. I think they are despicable. You know who they are. However, I think it is perfectly ok to have a relationship with an Asian woman. Please don’t complain if she treats me better then a woman in my home country. Shouldn’t we all aspire to treat one another better?
I like your blog and your writing style, will come here from time to time to see what’s going on. Greetings, Martin
On my own page I collect some informations that could be useful for my travel. I hope one day it will be useful for other interested Germans, too. Your blog is the first entry in my new favourite links category with nice blogs from and about Taiwan
(maybe you want to try: first click on “Taiwan”, and in the second step on “weblogs”)
A propos “adventure”. I have heard that something like camping and spending the holidays in the nature with my tent during the nights is not so common and can be a security risk for me. Do you think it would be less dangerous to travel without my tent and search for an expensive and boring hotel room instead? I just need some more opinions about this topic, because I really love adventures, nature and living in a tent in my holidays. It is the contrast to my everyday life I need from time to time. What other kind of crimes can I expect in Taiwan in comparison to other parts of the world? I still believe in the good side of the human nature and don’t like to be afraid if there is no reason. Are there public camping places out there in Taiwan? I cannot find any information about it so far.
…… oh I cannot find your mail address here, this is the reason for my long comment. I thank you for your patience
I think you can reach the admin at therealtaiwan@gmail.com
Have fun.
1) Your beautiful, subservient Taiwanese girlfriend isn’t in love with you but what you represent. Some want to marry you for citizenship (US/Canada), some assume you’re rich (don’t know why but it happens), some assume white men are better sex partners, and some just wanna be able to brag about dating white men. Of course they’ll never tell you any of this, but just watch out.
2) If you hang out with your Taiwanese girlfriend at the wrong place, you can be sure you’re gonna have some punk ass gangsters harassing you, some will even beat you up if not outright kill you. Just check the news for examples of this. Again, just be careful…
We cannot not communicate, is one of the constructivist’s sayings. And we all are able to communicate respect and acceptance, even in a nonverbal way. This is my way which helps me never to get in trouble since my birth… Perhaps this is one way to pull some people out of their habits and get them back into thinking a little bit, if they expect misunderstanding and disrespect and get something else.
… I would say “subservient” is not the right word in my situation and cannot say in how much of other’s situations it is also not adequate. I think it has a negative connotation. Also, for me it is not so respectful to think like this… perhaps you have made another experience, so I do not want to influence your thinking.
@admin: Thank you for your advice. It is a good idea to rent a car. But in the meanwhile my girlfriend pleased me to leave my tent at home… I want to wait a little bit with my decision.
@Turkey. Yes, the language problem is what I really want because I want to learn the chinese language. Here we say in German “ins kalte Wasser springen”. This means to jump into the cold water. Even if you cannot swim, if it is cold enough and you dare to jump into the cold sea you maybe remember your natural abilities to swim in water automatically. But it also means to learn something just by confrontation with the situation, or just by doing it… So I would be happy, not to understand in the beginning, because I will learn it faster the more I need the language.
It is good to know that the campsites are quite safe, but I will need some more time to decide for or against a holiday in a tent…
@all: have a good time, Martin
It is very interesting to me that when I said a woman treats a man nice, you took that to mean she is subservient. I never said that. In fact if I were Taiwanese, I would find that a little offensive. However that probably the least offensive thing you wrote. To be honest the whole subservient think can get boring very quick…with Taiwanese girls or western girls.
Your comments about Taiwanese women looking for a foreign guy for marriage, money, and bragging rights makes me think you have never been to Taiwan. This may be the case in parts of China or other poverty stricken countries. However, Taiwan is very different from China. I have lived and worked in both places for long periods of time. Regarding a woman’s motives for wanting to be with a man…that is something we may never truly understand. To suggest that Taiwanese women have such devious motives seems wrong. In fact I would bet that you are more likely to meet a woman only interested in marrying for money in America then you are in Taiwan.
When I was in Shanghai I had some concerns, but I never felt that way when I was in Taiwan. You have to realize that Taiwan is an economic miracle in Asia. It has among the highest quality of living in the region and very little poverty. I am not saying it does not exist, but it is definitely not the norm.
I think anyone who takes the time to learn about Taiwanese culture will tell you that they are by far the friendliest and warmest people you will find. You mentioned that the Taiwanese gangsters would be angry if white guy is with a Taiwanese girl. You even referred to some recent news article supposedly about something like this. While I love most things about Taiwan, I have to admit that the news reporting is anything but reliable. I would never quote the National Enquirer in a serious conversation and neither should you. I am sure there are exceptions, but in most cases you have to work pretty hard to get your ass kicked by Taiwanese gangsters. The vast majority of gangsters that I know are really friendly. As long as you are respectful, which many foreigners are not, nothing will happen to you.
Lastly, I wanted to address the sex issue you brought up. You said, “Some assume white men are better sex partners.†If someone is sexually active, what is wrong with that person looking for the best sex partner they can find? I am not going to say if it is true or not. But Ladies, if you are reading this, it is true in my case.
Seriously, how is this different from any other country in the Western world? Are you holding Taiwan to some higher standard? Of course you should be careful. You should be careful in every country you are in. Given everything in going on in the world, minus the crazy traffic and the pollution, I would say Taiwan is among the safest place to be.
Probably I am being silly… or why else I would post this on an internet forum???
It’s nice to be in love though…